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06 Oct 2013
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TOPIC: Question Do you want to go to heaven?

He's done it again! 4 years 2 months ago #924

  • tailfin
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

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I want to die like my Grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Do you want to go to heaven? 4 years 2 months ago #925

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Paddy knocked on the doctor's door, "Doc, I think I'm a moth"
"You don't need a doctor, you need a shrink!"
"That's where I was a'headin' 'til I saw your light"

George Dill

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Last Edit: by gdill3. Reason: BTHOOM!

The Irish joke battle is ON! 4 years 2 months ago #926

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OK, George. The gauntlet has been thrown and I accept!

Ed

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I want to die like my Grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Give me another! 4 years 2 months ago #927

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So, O'Hara finally catches a leprechaun and the Elf says, "You got me. Now you get three wishes. What is the first?"

O'Hara cries and says "I want a pint of Guinness that never empties."

The leprechaun zaps a pint up and with O'Hara's last sip, the glass fills up again!

O'Hara screams with delight.

The leprechaun says, "All right then, what are your two other wishes?"

O'Hara instantly replies, "I'll have two more pints!"

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I want to die like my Grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

An Irishman walks into a bar... 4 years 2 months ago #976

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An Irishman walks into a bar with a frog on his head.

The bartender exclaims, "Good God! Where did that come from?"

The frog replied, "Well, it all started with a wart on me bum."

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I want to die like my Grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
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