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An Irishman walks into a bar... 2 years 10 months ago #3638

  • edjec0907
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Oi! Ya had me goin' fer a bit there... I was havin a bit of trebble pronouncin them streets meself!
I think I thought of everything.
At least I can't think of anything I haven't thought of...

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An Irishman walks into a bar... 2 years 10 months ago #3640

  • gdill3
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Irish jokes – ah, yes – and told to me by my father who was half Irish and half English (lower half).
When he was about age ten (1925) he would crawl out the bedroom window, sneak around to the front of the old farm house and listen to his Baptist kin folks telling jokes as they played dominoes and swapped stories. One such teller was his GGF Walraven – a very old man born before the Civil War.
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Little Erin was hating the first grade as his teacher was always calling on him to answer difficult questions. “Children, we will now make a complete sentence using the words defense, deduct, detail and defeat.” “Erin, why are you sitting so low at your desk? Tell us your sentence.” Struggling (slowly) to stand the confused lad suddenly broke out in a giant smile – “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!”
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More? I thought you would never ask.
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An Irishman was sending a telegram to inform his relatives of an illness in the family. “That will be $58.34, sir.” “What! Why so much?” “Because you have 33 words in your message. The more words you use the more it costs to send a telegram.” A few minutes later the Irishman returns. “Try this.” “But sir, you have just six words and they don’t make any sense to me.” “Aye, ‘tis all there. Read it.” “Anacin hospital adamant bitter asinine places.”
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George Dill
PS: Anacin was marketed by Wyeth starting in 1930 but the stuff was around before the Great War.

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The Irish joke battle is ON! 2 years 2 weeks ago #3865

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OK, George. The gauntlet has been thrown and I accept!

Ed


All the St. Patrick Day celebrations were over and it was well after midnight that Neal and Bob (that’s a different joke) found themselves six feet apart at one end of the bar.

“Say, Bob, that lady by herself at the other end of the bar sure looks familiar.”

“Sure ‘nuf – could that be Larry Green’s wife? Go say something to her.”

“Hello, ma’am, you sure look like Helen Green.”

“Well, you don’t look so hot in green either”.

George Dill

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The Irish joke battle is ON! 10 months 3 weeks ago #4242

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When asked why the Irish Delegation to the United Nations was habitually late to the Assembly the Sergeant at Arms stated that it was probable due the highway signs "Clean Restrooms Ahead".


George Dill

(1/3 Czech, 1/3 English and the other half Irish)
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The Irish joke battle is ON! 10 months 3 weeks ago #4243

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As the Irishman approached the Pearly Gates St. Peter asked just what he had done on Earth that would warrant his entering Heaven.

"I married the teen-aged granddaughter of the Vicar of the London Primary Church of England".

"Amazing! That certainly earns you a ticket to Paradise. When was the wedding?"

"About five minutes ago".

George Dill

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